Masks
I had the pleasure of hearing a good friend of mine tell her story and share her journey as a black lesbian mother and pastor. In reciting the accounts of her life and the journey she quoted several lines from a Paul Laurence Dunbar poem entitled "We Wear the Mask".
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
As my sister/friend finished just the first few lines of this very revealing poem I began to think on my life and how I have worn a mask for some time. I even thought about how the mask has changed as I have gotten older. The words of this poem seemed to resonate within me. The words and the meaning hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't say that my mask has been completely removed to reveal the real me. I once wore it to hide the ridicule that comes from being Black man in a society that neither loves my existence nor uphold my life as valuable. I once wore a mask to hide the discomfort of not accepting the gift the God gave me...my ability to love other men intimately. I once wore the mask of being the strong one in the family. The one that everyone knew would be successful. As I listened to her story and pondered over it I had to consistently ask myself..."What mask are you wearing now?!!!" I have been wearing the mask of total happiness for I am one that rarely complains about the difficulties that I am facing as I struggle daily; always trying to hold it together. I have yet to allow my daily worries spill over into my personal life. I am always giving and never asking for anything in return when at times I just want someone to be there for me every once in while. A hug, a sympathetic ear, a shoulder, a laugh…but I look around and I can’t see any avenue for that outlet. Most would be totally amazed/astonished to hear my worries. I have chosen to put that mask on as I leave the house in the morning for I have to keep up the appearance of having it all together. There is much pain and self doubt behind this mask. Just as I have been able to remove those masks of the past I must begin to remove this one. However this time it must be different I can't exchange it for a new one. Today is the beginning of my life as I slowly remove my ole friend to reveal the person most people do not know.
What mask have you had to wear to simply survive?
I had the pleasure of hearing a good friend of mine tell her story and share her journey as a black lesbian mother and pastor. In reciting the accounts of her life and the journey she quoted several lines from a Paul Laurence Dunbar poem entitled "We Wear the Mask".
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
As my sister/friend finished just the first few lines of this very revealing poem I began to think on my life and how I have worn a mask for some time. I even thought about how the mask has changed as I have gotten older. The words of this poem seemed to resonate within me. The words and the meaning hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't say that my mask has been completely removed to reveal the real me. I once wore it to hide the ridicule that comes from being Black man in a society that neither loves my existence nor uphold my life as valuable. I once wore a mask to hide the discomfort of not accepting the gift the God gave me...my ability to love other men intimately. I once wore the mask of being the strong one in the family. The one that everyone knew would be successful. As I listened to her story and pondered over it I had to consistently ask myself..."What mask are you wearing now?!!!" I have been wearing the mask of total happiness for I am one that rarely complains about the difficulties that I am facing as I struggle daily; always trying to hold it together. I have yet to allow my daily worries spill over into my personal life. I am always giving and never asking for anything in return when at times I just want someone to be there for me every once in while. A hug, a sympathetic ear, a shoulder, a laugh…but I look around and I can’t see any avenue for that outlet. Most would be totally amazed/astonished to hear my worries. I have chosen to put that mask on as I leave the house in the morning for I have to keep up the appearance of having it all together. There is much pain and self doubt behind this mask. Just as I have been able to remove those masks of the past I must begin to remove this one. However this time it must be different I can't exchange it for a new one. Today is the beginning of my life as I slowly remove my ole friend to reveal the person most people do not know.
What mask have you had to wear to simply survive?
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