Friday, June 18, 2010
I can remember my father taking time in the evening to teach me and my brother how to drive once we received out driver’s permit. Thinking back, I remember how nervous I was when he asked me after one of my lessons if I wanted to drive home. My dad was an Impala man and at the time of my lessons, he owned a brown 1974 Impala, which seemed like the hood stretched for miles. I agreed and pulled out on to 47th street near Lake Park making my way back home about 2 miles away. I was nervous but my Dad reassured me that I could do it. I made it home as he instructed me calmly every step of the way.
My father was not perfect but I never doubted his love for my siblings and me. You see he never remarried for I do not think he ever got over my mother’s death. Let me not make it seem that he became a hermit because he did date his share of women but none made it to the marrying stage. My father let it be known to all that his children were his first priority.
In 1981, my father found out that I was SGL (gay). Believe me that did not go well at all. We went through some tough times because of this newfound discovery. However, my father never abandoned me because of it. Once we made it over the rough patch, we moved forward. I can remember the first day I told my father that I loved him and giving him a big ole hug as an adult man. I could tell that he was touched by it. I respected my father and never brought up my relationship. If he wanted to discuss this, it would be on his terms for I respected and understand where he was coming from. I did not expect him to embrace it for I am sure the acknowledgment of my emotional orientation shattered the dreams he may have had for me ever since the day I was born. We eventually got past the elephant in the room when he was ready. While he did not agree with me being in love with a man he did accept my partner and me at the time. I could not have asked for more than that, our relationship became much stronger, and we were able to openly discuss things about him and my mom of which I was not aware.
Today, I talk to male friends of mine and hear that they have lilmited or no relationships with their fathers and it is sad. I know that father’s have so much to give to our lives to help shape and mold us as adult men. I am who I am because my father molded me and while he has been gone from my life for 14 years he still infuences who I am today. The lessons he taught me many years ago and still applicable in my life. I still want him to look down from heaven and be proud of the man I have become. Each day I thank God for my father for he did not have to accept the difficult responsibility of raising five knuckle-headed kids virtually alone. Over the next few days I will talk to my siblings and we will laugh and reminiss about our father. We will celebrate his life and what he brought into our lives. We could not have asked God to give us a better father.
Everything my Dad did exuded “A Father’s Love”!!!!