The Death Of A Friendship, Not A Friend

What do you do when a friend stops calling?  Losing a valued friendship can be hard and I don’t mean loss in the terms of death.  I mean loss in the terms communication.  Seasons change and you just naturally expect your valued friends to be there to some degree until one of us is called home to be with the Lord.    Well, I have learned that this is not always the case.

K.D. and I were pretty good friends and I really cared about his well-being.  He and I met through Yahoo 360 which was a blogging site that is no longer active.  We hit is off and although he lived in Ohio we hit is off and built a friendship.  As time went on he came to Chicago to visit one holiday weekend and I knew I had added a friend to my short roster of friends.  You see I do not believe in having a gaggle of friends for that has never served me well.  Associates, yes but not friends.  He and I would talk about everything, yet nothing at times.  At times our conversations consisted of me providing support and/or advice about his current love interest.  After several years of friendship our communication started to wane but that was okay.  Every friendship has its hills and valleys so I was okay with it. 

About a year later the relationship picks back up.  He has moved back to Ohio after a short stint in Georgia.  After getting back home we would talk quite often and picked right back up where we were a year ago.    As we continued to have fun loving conversation I noticed that I was really there to listen to his love life issues, however, he would never ask about my life.  This one particular evening that I remember vividly I was leaving the barbershop and I gave him a call in route to my destination.  The conversation went as it usually did then he stated “So how are you”.   I had enough of this one sided thing and responded “I would tell you if I thought you cared”.   I meant every word and syllable in that sentence.  After that conversation our relationship was gone for about 3 years. 

I cannot remember who made the first move to rekindle the friendship but I was happy to have my friend back.  We talked through what had happened previously.   We exchanged apologies and we moved on.  That brings us 2016.  The friendship was going okay.  It was never as strong as it had been but I was okay with that.  In latter 2017, we did not talk as much but that was cool then I decided I would reach out to him after a noticeable absence.  After confronting him on social media about the lack of returned phone calls I was told “Oh you know I have had a lot going on but I will call you”.  That phone call was not received and I just chalked it up to being busy so several months later I approached him again only to get the same response.  I finally had to bury what I thought was a good friendship with a very good person.  Now I have no doubt that K.D. is a good person, however, I had to realize that he no longer valued our friendship as I had.  Hey maybe he never valued it as I had and that I had to deal with. 

I truly cared for him as my friend and honestly was invested in his well-being.  However, I had to let go and quit hoping that things would turn around.  Some people just do not have the capacity and or desire to continue on.  

Seasons change and end and so do friendships.  I have had to mourn the death of my friendship with K.D. as well as let go.  As I walk into 2018 I have one less friend but I am more self-aware.